The Idiots: alien beings from a dying planet. Their destination: the Earth. Their purpose: to make it their world The Idiots are here. And they have taken human form.

My daughter and I went to the McDonald’s drive through check-out windowto pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note.Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said ‘We’re sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.’The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald’s !!

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two…’We haven’t used Garador repair since.Happened in Moor Park , near Watford .

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the ‘DEER CROSSING’ sign from our road.The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any more.’Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.IDIOT SIGHTING No 4My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco.She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,’Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’Happened at Luton Airport

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road.I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex. (And she’s NOT blonde)

When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver’s door.As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked.’Hey,’ I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, ‘it’s open!’His reply: ‘I know. I already did that side.’This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.

STAY ALERT! They walk among us. AND THEY BREED!


About neilirving

hello and welcome, We live on the Wirral Peninsula, Merseyside, in the United Kingdom, My wife Lynne and I have been together now for over 22 years and we have two Kids Cameron and Heather, I work in the motor trade and worked for the same company Windsors Of Wallasey, since I left school at 16 years old, Early February 2017 I left my current employer and went to as Liverpool Seat, , a big step after 27 years. November 2018 I took a job at Eastham Motors, which is a small family run business I love taking photographs so images will be linked from my Flickr account and Instagram account, Nearly all of the photographs are taken on my mobile phone camera lol its always with me and they are all for sale and are available in a number of different formats, please drop me a message for any more info I also spend as much time as I can reading and listening to music and enjoy many different genres, other hobbies include wine making, walking, and looking after our chickens, We spent a good part of 2012 with our horse (Kelly) who we rescued in January and we learned so much and very quickly about horses, we had to work so hard with her and as time as went by we made a really great horse out of her, in June 2012 we got are puppy Ruby, April 2013 we sold Kelly on and we bought Jack are 4 year old cob cross in May 2013, in August 2013 we rescued Skye a 6 year old coloured cob who was completely un-handled and has been a pleasure to work with, sadly in March 2015 we had to sell Jack, no matter how hard we tried we could not stop him from kicking and we had all been injured by him and we have to think about the kids
This entry was posted in Every Day Stuff and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s